The really solid thing that this essay does is offer lots of sentence variety. That i said you could use to kind of chart your sentence variety, what I’ve done in the bonus materials for this essay is chart the sentence variety of one of the body paragraphs if you remember back to the bonus materials, there’s a sentence variety chart that I gave you. And you will see by taking a look at the different kinds additionally the different lengths of sentences that this really has a great flow, there’s lots of variety there. Additionally this essay uses an advance vocabulary but it is not just advanced, it really is used appropriately. So here the example is, ‘Free tutoring doesn’t aim in the middle of this problems schools that are facing a wider selection of classes does by livening fascination with school up until graduation.’ So we’ve just seen an advance sentence structure and an advance usage of vocabulary very strong language that is commendable. These are all the reason why why this essay earned an 11 which will be in which you like to be, ideally scoring ten to 12 on the ACT writing.
Now why don’t we take a look at sample essay number 2.
Go ahead and go directly to the bonus materials and print it out. Again i will start with reading the initial paragraph but it really will soon be important for you really to have a hard copy on front of you to follow along. Alright, this one starts with ‘A major problem that many high schools face is students failing continually to graduate, or dropping out before they have the possibility. High schools across the nation have attempted countless different programs and ways to try to combat student’s failure, some proving more productive than the others. In my experience, offering a wider number of class options would do a more satisfactory job of promoting success than merely offering free tutoring because ‘interest’ promotes a desire to master and remain at school, something which not merely getting help can do.’ So this one starts out very similar to essay number one but if you noticed that one only scored a seven. So it is still into the top half but a far cry from the 11 that the first essay scored. Here we’ve got again an extremely position that is strong comprehension of the job. This writer says ‘offering a wider selection of class options would do a more satisfactory job of promoting student success and merely offering tutoring that is free the attention promotes the need to learn and remain in school.’ So we’ve got a situation, we have reason, further more we have the development of a counter argument. But you can already infer even for those who haven’t see the essay out of this that this writer must not do an excellent job of incorporating and powering up on that counter argument otherwise they might have scored a lot higher from the essay. So solid ‘task and position’ let us see where it falls a bit that is little.
‘Complexity and development’ alright this writer says, ‘My senior school really helps many students by providing peer tutors because learning from peers is much more appealing than being re-taught by adults. ‘tutoring helps many who can be too frustrated that they can’t understand their classes and would like to drop out.’ Now the very first thing I notice when I read this is the wording is a little bit confusing here and I’m not necessarily sure what this might be supposing because, honestly it is making tutoring seem like a truly good thing. The career statement told me that this essay was going to be arguing for a wider variety of classes. And this might be an attempted counter argument, but where it falls short is it doesn’t completely dismiss the counter claim, the reader is left by it wondering exactly what is this person proving. In order that’s the place that is first falls short in complexity and development. The essay also says, ‘Offering many courses means that students will still learn, yet have a great time and become less stressed.’ Now this really is in the body that is second and also this could be the first time that the writer has introduced this idea of ‘having fun and becoming less stressed’ and it’s really really unclear where that links to the position that ‘a wider variety of classes is much better for learning.’ It focused and supportive.
Finally in organization this essay is organized simply but effectively it is type of predictable but that’s why it scores a seven rather than very up on top of the scale that will be during the 11. This essay says ‘In addition to more classes, having parents and teachers who care about students’ success, offering extra-curricular programs to improve an active experience of the school, having assemblies and events to promote school spirit and several other factors are typical important in promoting success.’ Now they are really great ideas and definitely on topic, but one might expect to see these ideas introduced in the introduction and then followed through to into the essay. However once you know where this paragraph comes from could be the conclusion and that is one of many big no, no’s for that organization that is basic. That you don’t introduce new ideas in the final outcome because all it will is serve to confuse your reader. They aren’t something that you have mentioned and none of your support pertains to it. So this is the reason why this essay’s score is a bit that is little in organization.
‘Sentence structure and grammar.’ Alright this essay says, ‘Something that not merely getting help can do.’ That is among the relative lines that really stuck off to me in reality it’s part of the position statement which can be among those sentences that readers are really focused in on, while you are given your thesis or your role, they need it edubirdies.org/buy-essay-online to be clear. And also this wording is really types of confusing, I’m not sure what things are talking about, what the something is and it’s really just a little bit awkward. So again we’ve got type of this awkward usage of language which will keep this essay down in that range that is mid than shooting it as much as the higher range that displays a command of this language.
Alright the couple of pitfalls that this essay come across you want to make sure you avoid that we already have talked about and. This essay makes ‘hasty generalizations’ the line, ‘only students with a desire to boost may benefit from such a program.’ That’s a jump that is big. To make certain that’s saying basically if they don’t whole heartedly want to be there they’re going to flat out fail if I give tutoring to everybody. And I also think that’s a really big leap in flaw and logic. Moreover it gets a bit that is little, ‘The most crucial, though, is a student’s need to learn and to succeed;’ it just continues on and on about this. And lastly we talked concerning this ‘basic organization’ not merely do we have kind of candid transitions like ‘in addition’ to and ‘furthermore’ but we talked in regards to the introduction of the latest ideas into the conclusion which really throws your reader for a whip. So coming back to wrap all of it up the seven indicators that the readers will probably be searching for can be your ‘understanding of the task,’ the ‘position’ you take, the ‘complexity’ with which you discuss the presssing issue, the ‘development’ or support you provide, how you organized your thoughts and then how you deliver it together with your ‘sentence and word choice’ and your ‘grammar.’
In this episode we’ve taken a review of two essays, both were solid they scored when you look at the half that is top clearly we come across why essay one scored an 11 while essay two scored a seven.